England

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Oh the nothingness

Here I write once again.  Sometimes life seems so full of everything, and other times as if this broad expanse of nothingness.  The variety of individuals I have the privilege of being with is amazing.  Their view, their outlook, the goals, their aspirations, their weaknesses all seem to vary so much.  The variety and style prompts me to proclaim how wonderful and amazing they are.  The intelligence that is so encompassing held by just a dozen people is staggering.  Yet, sometimes I wonder if they know one iota of anything concerning themselves and eternity.  People seem to be so good, wonderful, and helpful and in the same breath so greedy, selfish, and conceited.  What an education far beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
Sometimes I wonder about the words of C.S. Lewis about when one recognizes themselves, that becomes the basis of pride.  Yet, one star is greater than another, one is always greater than another.  Perhaps we can recognize our own individuality but should be highly cautious about setting ourselves up over other people.  That is what the world is teaching.  You are special, it doesn’t matter what anyone is or does, you are better than they are.  That is false.  We are special, we are individuals, but we are a part of the fabric and an essential player.  We cannot be independent of all others.  No man is an island.  To think we are to be our own man, independent of the God who created us, and the fellow citizens of the earth only creates a bunch of insufferable show offs.  It breeds relativism and more conflict in the world.
While I have no doubt of the place of America in the role of the world, I find it scary that we subscribe to the belief I just mentioned.  I remember in England when an American could not understand one with the local dialect, they met it characteristically with talking a little louder and asking a question a little slower.  It wasn’t them who had the problem, it ws the individual speaking!  We expect the world to revolve around us and pay us all the respect we believe is our due.  We claim the rest of the world has pride and arrogance, even ignorance; when I must admit I think we are the one guilty of the charge.  Is it any wonder the French have problems with us?  In their history individuals given power rather than a government has produced “The Terror”.  Why wouldn’t we expect them to react the way they did when we gave more over arching powers to the executive?  When the power of waging war and of going into battle was given in their country, it led to a man seeking to rule Europe.  Add that to their condition of their neighbors who have taken them over because of what they deemed as right.  Of course France is not supportive of our going into another country to further ideals of democracy.  We can see why they don’t like capital punishment, the guillotine is a national symbol still to them.  That is something they will forever buck at.  What is more, we hover and watch them and give them the cold shoulder.  Not as a brother in the world should do, but as a lesser creature.  Someone who is to not be associated with on the playground.  We act the bully, and then when they bristle or don’t fall in line, we scorn and mock them.  Try and turn our friends against them to persuade them to be with us.  Looking back, that bully did hold their power for time.  What ever happened to the bully.  I hope we became more mature, that we all become equal, but it isn’t true.  I know of three who bullied me in elementary and junior school, and sadly they find themselves on the lower of the totem pole in life today.  I do not know if this would be true generally or across the board, but it is in my life.  Sadly, I expect the same thing will happen eventually to us as a nation.
Then I look at other nations who are different.  Others with different goals and perspectives.  We eye them with caution and expect they must have questionable motives.  The uncertainty always creates fear doesn’t it?  “I have often thought to myself, what is to be done?”  Education is our only hope.  Just like Thomas Jefferson I find myself thinking that our only hope would be education and the constant expansion of our understanding.  It must be understood, retained, and constantly built upon.  Just like Joseph Smith taught of the need for increasing light and knowledge, Thomas Jefferson admonished, and Allan Bloom admonishes we must find and constantly be analyzing.  We find our beliefs, seek out further light, compare it to what we have, and throw away what doesn’t work.  Leave it behind, keeping a faithful record of where we have been.  Sadly, such a case does not seem to be on the books today.  Like I mentioned the case of relativism seems to be taking hold with all its disastrous underpinnings.  James Madison made it clear that without the moral compasses and moorings that come from religious principles, the looking out one for another, democracy would drift and fall.  Without morality democracy will pass as all the others have before our time.
Odd isn’t it.  We are so smart, yet we never counsel with history.  Is it any wonder we are so seriously admonished to remember.  Rather than condemning, let us seek.  Rather than finding our lines and demanding nobody to cross over, why don’t we step over them ourselves and act as more faithful pilgrims and wanderers?  The glory of God is intelligence isn’t it?  When slapped, turn your cheek and move on.  Service to your enemies and comfort to those who are weak.  Revenge is never the order of the day.
It all starts with the individual.  From there the example is powerful.  There is great hope in the world.  There is great possibility of potential.  Why are we focused on fear?  Why not look to the future?  Fear only cripples.
Inside the world, in my own personal life, there is much to look forward to.  I find in myself a growth and a bright outlook.  It all comes in the name of Amanda Hemsley for me.  Burton K Wheeler and Jared Diamond have been my meat recently.  Not to mention the studies of Iranian business deals and American history that have been my research.  There has been a constant barrage of information which have helped to temper me and my zeal.  Somehow though, the introduction of another who is to be considered as yourself changes things drastically.  My vision has expanded not only of the world from her eyes but the view from my own.  It tempers the excitement of youth even more, but gives more drive for the future.  Somehow the clutch of individualism is disengaged and one finds themselves propelled faster and further along the road of life.  I am not even married yet!  The walk continues, but it is taking on new vistas.  I leave the Rocky Mountains with dizzying height and glamor to the more humble and open expanse of the plains.  It is not that there is less to see, nor is there less to experience.  It is just different.  The ecosystem is just as open, but a new road.  The anticipation is great.  Where will it take us?  How far will it take us?  Shall we circle the earth or walk slowly to Blair, Nebraska?  Either one, I am content.
She is most beautiful, captivating, and sublime.  I have not potential to describe the connection in those eyes and how far the warmth of her body seems to penetrate.  This world is definitely beyond the physical.  We don’t even know all the aspects of the physical, but already many doors are open for emotional and spiritual travel.
I found one of her hairs today.  It glistened and somehow represented something so far away.  It was only a memento that was obviously manifesting of her presence.  Yet she is so far away.  This part is not even living, but yet it speaks of her.  How many hairs in the world do I see, yet lose their true significance.  I have eyes but do not see.
Life is more than just me.  I focus on myself so much, everything revolves around my life, because that is me.  It is unavoidable.  But the greatest joys come in the life of others.  Burton K Wheeler’s experiences are now a part of my own.  His personality has become a part of mine.  While the stories and the times may melt, I have been changed and can clearly link it to him.  The same with Cecil D Andrus’ life.  On and on and on.  Oh if I could implore more people to record their lives and write their stories!  What I would not give to read the same of my ancestors.  My grandmother’s journal was a portal into another’s life.  However, that life is an extension of me.  While Brother Wheeler is far more removed, he is still a part of the country I now life, and that is part of me as well.  I was so sure to go out and define the world and change it according to my view.  I am coming to find out that the world has created much of what I am.  It has changed me.  It used to be such a negative view.  I always knew what needed to change and what I was to do.  Now it is the opposite.  What can I learn from it to apply in life.  I seek more and more.  Dismissing those which are of lesser quality and holding to those which are more true.
Is it any wonder we are exhorted to seek out knowledge.  It is the only thing that will save us.  Especially that knowledge which is most important.
Amanda came to visit over last weekend.  All my time with her is something to be cherished.  We learn so much from each other.  I learn so much from her.  She amazes me.  She is so pure and wonderful.  She makes me wish I was better, glad I receive her love, and yet honoured.  I love her and hope we will forever build upon that.  We are both just humble enough to learn from each other and to walk the path together.  As we grow, how much more sweeter can it possibly become?
Oh the nothingness of man.  God rules the nations and the earth inasmuch as we let him.  He oversees all and knows all things.  May we learn of him rather than to pontificate to the world what they should know.  There is so much to learn.  May I always be learning and seeking?  Rather than the one giving instruction.  Reminds me of Socrates always asking the questions rather than giving the answers.  Good night.
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Interesting Days

It is strange how coincidence seems to play into our lives. Even I, a low staffer, an Idahoan, who is of very little importance in the realm of all men who have walked upon the earth have the privilege of meeting such amazing men. There are giants around us and we very seldom realize it. Most of those will never be  recognized or accredited for what they do. However, today I wish to pay tribute to the common man (men and women, you know what I mean…man is not without the woman, and woman not without the man). There are souls around us who affect us so deeply that they forever change our course. Most of them are the every day run of the mill who humbly go about doing their duty. Many men do what they can to get by, others in service to others oblivious and often doing more damage, but then there are those who know what they need to do and do it well. Those who seek to do what they do well, live their lives to the best of their capability who influence the most.This week I met a man by the name of Mehmet Ali Talat. He paid a visit to Senator Smith. He is the president of the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus. It definitely is not every day that we meet the President of a small country. What is more, one that is a bit more questionable in the eyes of many nations. Besides that, he is a very powerful man. He came with his entourage and sat in the office for a while (the Senator was meeting with the President of Starbucks…how ironic) and then left to visit with the Senator in his office. I do not know the culture, I do not know the man, but he seemed very deliberate and almost unhappy. The whole group seemed almost dire in many ways. While I can boast that I met the man who leads another nation, he left little or no influence upon me.

The same day, I met a man named Bob Livingston. A representative from Louisiana that served in the house for over 20 years. If I remember right, he was even Speaker of the House of the United States for a short time. A powerful man in the United States who served for a third of most people’s lives. (While there are hundreds of people in the U.S. government and I have come to learn it is just another job, it still holds a mystique) He sat with me for a few moments and was so concerned about his blackberry he couldn’t even visit for a whole five minutes. Another man who influenced millions of lives, but in lasting tribute will have little more than name recognition to go with his face in my life. Do we recognize the influence we could have on people, but due to our own concerns and selfishness do not take the opportunity to reach out more often.

If you would not know it, I was giving a tour this week and while explaining the Capitol Ceiling (which is always accompanied with my looking around while explaining rather than peering up a dozen noses) and I recognized a man sitting on one of the benches on the outer parameter. I excused myself from my tour group for a moment to go say hello to the Governor of Idaho, my beloved home state. I walked over, shook the hand of Dirk Kempthorne, and introduced myself. He looked pensive and contemplative. I somewhat regret having visiting with him as he seemed almost melancholy, but I was thrilled with the opportunity. Here was a man who took a few moments to say hello and learn a little about me. He did not brush me off and seemed somewhat interested. This man, while definitely with his own thoughts, took a few moments out to focus on the one. He will have a much more lasting influence than the President of a small nation or Speaker of the House. Nevertheless, many don’t like the Governor, but he seemed much more willing to care about other people than the first two.

In that tour group that I excused myself from was a former Senator of the State of Oregon. Neil and Mary Bryant were a different breed though. They were engaging, willing to share of themselves and learn of others, and even reached out to meet others. They and their friends Neal and Linda Huston were fun to take on the tour as they were so willing to get along and be a part of society. They are good individuals who loved to learn. He tried to stump me on historical facts of the United States of the Pacific Northwest (which my knowledge is not very good, I just got lucky that I knew his answers). They were by far the best people I met that day. While not as impressive in stature of the world, they left an impression that will be much more lasting.

With all that said, I want to recognize some of those who have affected my life the most. Colleen Jonas. Father in Heaven. Jesus Christ. Milo Ross. Sandra Jonas. Amanda Hemsley. Brad Hales. Kathy Duncan. Ted Tateoka. Kevin Orton. Nicole Whitesides. Laurel Hepworth. Marie Lundgreen. Kathryn England. Anna Badger. Chris Horsley. Megan Duncan. Dustin McClellan. James Cazier. Tom Kunzler. Altan Hardcastle. Warren Crane. Gene Hansen. Lorn Duff. I am sure there are more, many more. Thank God for good souls who reach out and connect with people. Who care more for others than they do for themselves. May God forever bless those who have affected my life and may I return the favor to all I come in contact with.

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By small and simple means

Things continue to go very well for me.  I am blessed far beyond what I could hope for.  Sometimes it seems that things are slowing down, but things continue to move forward.
A great turn of events for me.  I have been invited to act in part of the role of assistant press secretary.  I do the clips and that takes a good hour of my day.  I enjoy it, I have my space in the mail office where I can do it.  It is an honor and I don’t mind working on a project that is solely my own.  For the rest of the time I am here, I will act in this position, unless they hire someone.  It is nice to have this because I can call it my own and I am not always depending on someone else to do their part or that someone else will do it.  I can do it, do it my own way, and there is not the little struggle if someone else wants it.  The best part is that I am respected more for being a part of the office, not just an intern to do the slightest whim of whoever wants.  I mean I still do, but they ask more politely and are more willing to work with me.
It is nice to have full access in my e-mailing to the whole office.  It is even better to have a window that I can look out and see the Supreme Court building.  In visiting with Chris, who is the press secretary, I have had a chance to get to know him some more.  He gave me a contact in Charlottesville too!  That will come in handy.  I have had numerous chances to visit with him now, and he keeps asking me questions.  I have enjoyed getting to know him more as well.
Today offered a unique opportunity.  If anyone happened to be watching the Finance Committee on CSPAN, they would have seen me enter the committee twice and present some paperwork to Senator Smith.  Both times I walked in as Senator Grassley was speaking.  Jacob said he saw me on the screen back in the office.  Now I can say I have been on official government tv now!  Anyhow, nothing special, but it was interesting.  I would not have known had it not been pointed out to me that they had seen me.  Funny how things are happening when we don’t realize it.
Today is also a little highlight in the life of Paul.  A tribute I wrote for the Senator about Rosa Parks will be entered into the Congressional Record.  Which means, while I cannot prove it was me, I have my words and work now represented in the official record of the United States Government.  I think that is exciting.  I hope I get another opportunity to write more.
The weather has continued to pour and pour and pour.  Apparently they are blaming some of it on the tailings of Wilma and Alpha.  Who knows.  I just know that I love it because it reminds me so much of the mission field.  Things are green and wet and yesterday I smelled a smell that reminded me so much of England.  Oh what I would not give to serve another mission, and especially in England.
Well, things are going very well.  Kathryn told me in the office that she appreciated how hard I work and that I am always working on something without having to be asked.  She said that was the reason why Chris asked me to help with the newspaper clips.  I am honored.  It is those little things that make all the difference.  I hope that I may always take care of the little things, and that great things will come to pass.  As my first mission president always said to me, “Take care of the pennies and the dollars take care of themselves.”  Thanks to President Bruce Stucki and Ted Tateoka, who drilled the scripture in Alma about the small and simple things home.  Hopefully I will never forget either lesson.
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Pictures Explained

I thought I would take the opportunity to explain the pictures which are in the album to the right.  The British pictures are from the blessed land of Northern England and Wales.  I served as a missionary in Northern England in 1998-2000.  While there I served in the vicinity of Manchester and Liverpool the whole time.  The exact areas were Moreton on the Wirral Peninsula, Hyde near Aston-under-Lyne, Eccles (West Manchester/Salford), Runcorn, Wigan.  These pictures were taken during a trip back to Britain during the summer of 2003.  While I visited Wales several times on the mission, this was my first real get to know the area trip.  Conwy, Caernarven, Harlech, and others were the only castles we visited.  I traveled there with a friend and mission companion, Brad Hales, and his sister, Amy.  It was a trip not to be forgotten and I hope to make it back in the next few years.  I thought there were some pictures of London in there, but apparently not.  None of England made it either, I will have to fix that situation.
The next set of pictures are of Amanda and me.  The most amazing girl in the world.  Not only because she loves me, but as she is just that, amazing.  There are pictures of her and I at my Sister’s wedding, note the classy 1956 Dodge Coronet.  If anyone is interested in purchasing it for a reasonable price, let me know.  It needs a little work, but sure looks and runs great.  There is a pic after the 4th of July Water Parade in Kaysville, Utah.  Then there are pictures from Spring Formal at Utah State University 2005.
In May 2005, I went with a Hemsley Family (Amanda’s family) traditional fishing weekend.  It was a totally new experience for me.  I have never fly fished before.  In fact, I had not fished for probably 15 years.  Not really into the whole fishing game.  It was very fun, fascinating, and terribly beautiful.  It was a good chance to bond with the future in-laws.  I need to learn how to clean a fish, perhaps we can save that for next year, if I am invited.  We also did a little rafting on the trip, some of which photos you wil see.
While I was living in Logan and in the year 2003 we organized a Manti Temple trip.  In the end, only five ended up going out of the 20 who committed.  Never mind, we enjoyed ourselves.  Brian and Karene on the trip found it so wonderful, they fell in love and were married later.  Some of Karene’s family were from Fountain Green so we got to meet them as well.  The Manti Temple is an impressive structure.  I think it will need some renovating in upcoming years, but a magnificent monument to the pioneers who went before us.  It has not been renovated and modernized like the Logan Temple was.  In my opinion, they ruined the Logan Temple.  Especially where it was considered the more grand of the two similarly designed temples.  Oh well.  Life moves on.  I have family from Spring City, Wales, Ephraim, and other areas of the San Pete Valley.  I could do without the sometimes troublesome smell of turkeys.  What a beautiful valley.
The last bunch of current photos is of cars.  Yep, some of the loves of my life.  I have not done much with cars recently, but I used to quite a bit.  There is a 1956 Dodge Coronet which was owned by my mother.  She purchased it off a Dr. Karchner, who delivered me as a baby.  It is still in my possession.  I will have to one day work on fully restoring it, or finding a home for it.  I just can’t stand to see it sit.  The 1955 International R-100 pickup was fully restored.  I drove it for my Senior Year in high school at Minico in Rupert.  I had it until 2001 when I sold it to John Tanner of Hollywood, California.  I doubled the money of which I paid for it, but I had that much in the pickup.  A rebuilt engine, and then the restoration after my sister rolled it in 1998.  I do still have a 1949 GMC pickup which has just finished being restored.  We are looking to sell it at the moment.  I also have a 1946 Chevrolet pickup which is all torn apart ready to begin a restoration.  I need to divest myself of these autos really.  I just am so sentimental, plus I can’t keep them.  They require upkeep, maintenance, and other expensive help.  With getting married and all, I should get rid of them.  I can’t move to Virginia with them.  Oh well.  Someday I know I will kick myself for doing so, especially where I see so many of my friends parents doing the same.  Well, I am totally rambling, so I am going to close this little entry.
Enjoy the photos.  Perhaps I will put some more up sooner than later.