Meredith’s revealing some secrets

Yesterday turned out to be a good day in relation to finding some roots.

In teaching the family history class, I feel like I need to know what I am doing before hand. On top of that, family history is never completed, so I was searching out some new lines. I thought I would have another go at the Meredith line.

Up to this point I have been able to find several families of the Meredith line. Legend and family lore goes that my James Thomas Meredith’s father was James Meredith. That is all we know. He apparently was raised by his grandfather, but I still don’t know why he took the Ross name to become James Thomas Meredith Ross. He married as a Meredith, but gave all his children the Ross name.  (I have since written more about this with more information here.)

In the 1880 Census we find James Thomas Meredith Ross with James Ross who is 70, little James is 9. Now, little James was born in 1868, but where the census takes your age at time of the census, then he may have had his birthday soon, or who knows. Plus James the older was probably giving the information and may have just rambled off the latest number. Whatever the reason for the age issue, the real problem is he told the census taker that little James was his son. For what reason, I have no idea. (I could easily look up his age and the day of the census, but that would take getting off onto the other computer, which I don’t want to do.) If I remember right, Nancy is over in the next county working as a servant for her Aunt Lavincia, I think. I know that Nancy was poor, so that may have been why little James was with his father/grandfather.

I don’t have the actual marriage record yet, but somewhere I have been given a date for their marriage and a place. I am hoping that record will tell me James’ father’s information.

The interesting thing is that James the old man was born in 1805 or about there. His wife was Sarah J Bell. James and Sarah had a son named James who was only a few years older than Nancy. So it is very feasible that James, the son of James and Sarah was the real father.

The problem is multiplied. If old James was not the father, which I have my doubts, then I must ask who was the James Meredith’s in the area. Well, there turn out to be about 10 James Meredith’s within about 10 years of Nancy’s birth. So far I can account for most of them when Nancy had her son James. They were married, dead, or enough distance to probably be safely not the father of my James Thomas Meredith Ross.

However, there are three James Meredith’s which I cannot account for. I found old man James’ wife, Sarah J Bell Meredith in the 1870 census. Which means she was still alive, so in all likeliness old man James did not marry Nancy Adeline Sheperd (married before, Ross) in 1867. That casts a whole bunch more doubt on his father being the father. I guess he could have been, but I assume the actual James Meredith is the father.

As I said, there are three James Merediths that I cannot count for. This is where it gets hairy. One is the son of James and Sarah J Meredith. The other is the son of Hugh and Katherine Meredith and roughly the same age. Then there is the son of William and Octavia Meredith, also roughly the same age. All three of them just fall off the planet. I can find no records of anything of their lives. Death, nothing. I hope to find at least one of them died in the Civil War or something, but nothing as of yet. Just out of interest though, I thought I would pursue each of these three families. James, Hugh, and William were all born within about 5 years and roughly in the same area. So I started to wonder if they were related as well. I then found a history of Hugh Meredith saying his father was Hugh and Nancy Meredith. I then found Hugh Sr and Hugh Jr living side by side in the 1840 census. So following Hugh Sr back another 10 years, he had the right number of sons who were the right ages to be Hugh, James, and William. Going back into the census clear to 1820 he had about 8 children. Three boys were within about 5 years of each other, which is very likely to be these three boys. What is more, you get back into the 1830’s and 1840’s, these were the only Meredith’s in the area. When you get back to find these three men as boys, the numbers really shrink. So I am very sure these were brothers.

To top it off, Hugh and James Meredith both married women whose last names were Bell. Which narrows it down even more. Sadly, I doubt Katherine and Sarah were sisters, for if they were, their mother was 50 when she gave birth to Sarah, which is not likely. Plus all other family accounts have Katherine as the last child, not another one 8 years later. I have more hunting to do. Regardless, these are my ancestors, aunts and uncles. Old Man James is my relative, whether father or grandfather of James Meredith. Even if it is one of the other James’ in the mix, he is now an uncle. But why would the child go to live with James if he was not father or grandfather. Remember, we pretty much ruled him out as father. I am confident he is the grandfather.  (I have since been given information that Sarah was a sibling of Katherine born in 1806, not 1809.)

So linking these families together, and pulling together histories, I added another 4 generations to the family history. The Bell history, through Hugh’s wife added 4 generations. I am sure my Sarah is at least a neice to Katherine’s Bell family. So that line goes back to about 1705. Katherine’s mother, who was a Farmer, whose history takes me back into the late 1600’s. So I was thrilled to make these discoveries. I need to find some more information to tie it together more firmly. But the Bell and Farmer lines have wills and more for the lines I connected myself into.

It is the Meredith line now that is curious to me. Hugh Sr disappears mysteriously from the 1810, 1800, and 1790 census. Now it is possible that it was early enough to have missed Hugh in Southwest Virginia. However, I did find there are records from the area. What is more, Hugh was about 20 years older than his wife. So he just appears on the scene with Nancy Smallwood in Blacksburg, Virginia. But, in 1810, 1800, and 1790 there is a Hugh (1800 has David Hugh) Meredith living in Pennsylvania.  Which interestingly, is where all the other Meredith families live I keep contacting.  None of them can link to the Southwest Virginia Meredith’s.  However, if Hugh is a key, then perhaps…

One of the questions is Hugh has some older children in the 1820 census which means he could have brought some more with him.  The only problem with the American census before 1850 is they only listed the head of the household and then the other members of the house according to age group and sex.  So quite honestly, those could all be white servants (blacks or slaves were tallied under a separate area.  He didn’t have any).

My hypothesis thus far is that Hugh was married in Pennsylvania and raised a family there.  His wife died or something and he went to Virginia.  I don’t know where Nancy Smallwood comes into it as there is not any Smallwood families in the Southwest Virginia area.  So she could have come with him.  Perhaps they married in Pennsylvania and then moved to Virginia with his new wife and existing family.

I have to go back now and research all those old Meredith histories to see if I can find a Hugh in their histories.  I have always searched for James, Hugh Sr’s son.  If I can find a Hugh Meredith (Merideth in 1810, 1800, and 1790 census) born in 1767 up there, they may have something about his family.  Then he would disappear about the right time frame from their history.  Perhaps….  I will have to see what I can find.

Anyhow, I keep searching.  I am finding I am much more linked in revolutionary America than I ever thought.

Thanks be given

There is not a whole lot to report on at the present.  We enjoyed a Thanksgiving here in blessed Virginia.

Amanda and I drove to Massanutten, a resort up in the hills.  We went up to spend Thanksgiving with Amanda’s Uncle and Aunt.  It turned out to be an interesting day.  I enjoyed the drive up to the area.  Gordonsville was the highlight of the day, the town having a personality completely its own.  A rare thing it seems these days.

Massanutten wasn’t anything to boast about.  They do have a very large indoor water park.  Other than that, it was just a bunch of condos in the middle of the mountains.  Don’t get me wrong, the mountains were beautiful.  How much more beautiful without the “hello, here I am” presence of the resort? 

Amanda and I have determined we will never go out to enjoy our Thanksgiving meal again.  It seems to undermine what the day is about.  Who would have ever thought it was Thanksgiving.  Where was any resemblance of Thanksgiving, other than a commercial version of the foods associated with the date? 

We went back and pretty much watched the TV for the rest of the day.  Driving home, we were relieved to leave the situation which seemed lacking so much.

Hopefully, I can pay some homage to the day here even though the day did not provide much.

This week, I discovered I am the posterity of individuals who lived at Jamestown.  Yes, next years celebration of 400 years in America, honored even by the Queen, is directly relevant to me.  Not just through this nation, but through my ancestors who lived there.  The Clark (or Clarke) family, the Summers, Lumpkin, and Thompson groups I am all related to.  There is a possibility my Clark’s even come from the famous John Clark, who was the Master’s Mate on the Mayflower.  He had been to Jamestown before, imprisoned in Spain, made the trip of the Mayflower, and eventually made his way back to live in Jamestown.  He died not too much afterwards.  I am also a descendent of the Graham Clan who settled parts of Virginia, West Virginia, and Kentucky.  They extended into Missouri, Indiana, Iowa, and Ohio as well.  I am an American very deep in some roots.  One of those Grahams was a personal friend of George Washington, and convinced him to help endow a new school he had founded.  Yep, a Graham founded Washington and Lee.  My history includes three future presidents, universities, and other numerous recorded aids to society.

My roots expand the ocean many times.  My roots run to Wales, Ireland, Scotland, and England.  My ancestors were in the court of rulers; my ancestors even ruled parts of the Roman Empire.  My ancestors come from Sweden, Norway, and the largest number from Germany.  I have family who can be traced into Russia, Australia, and a score of other nations.  The foundations I have been given are broad and inclusive.  I am so very fortunate.  Each of us have a history which began long before we were born.

Those blessings extend beyond my family.  This nation, which has its hopes in liberty and freedom are one of the greatest blessings to me.  I am very fortunate.  It may be a weakness in many ways, but is a great boon in many more ways.  I pray for the principles upon which it is founded to continue to go to the whole earth.  I pray that those principles would be grasped by other nations and be implemented into their states.  I pray our nation might return to the principles of truth and freedom for which it is founded.

I remember the lives of those who were given for this freedom I enjoy and others do not.  Two of my Great Grandfather’s were gassed in WWI and both lived to tell the tale.  Both met painful and difficult deaths due to it.  One grandfather has purple hearts to show for his wounds and success in WWII.  The other grandfather tried to enroll, but due to health issues was not allowed to be a part.

I pray for the soldiers of freedom everywhere.  I care not what nation they represent, as long as they are there for liberty, freedom, and truth.  I pray God will bless those who represent those hopes and ideals.  That those who do not represent those ideals, or those they represent, will be thwarted in their designs.

It is with gratitude I offer my thanks to He who makes death not a fear.  I thank and give adoration to the Savior of all mankind, even Christ that we might all live again.  That despite wickedness and fear, we have nothing to fear but sin.  I express my deepest thanks for the restoration of His church back on the earth and the miracles which abound about us.  The gathering of lost nations, the restoration of Israel, the building up of the kingdom in preparation for the king whose right it is to rule.  My deepest sympathies are with the restoration and furthering of eternal purposes upon the earth.  My greatest joys and delight come from this impressive, yet almost unrecognizable effort happening in our midst.

I am pleased to have been born at this time of such great blessing.  It is with a certain hope I see the future, despite all which is prophesied to come upon us.  So much pain that the Saints will barely escape with their lives.  We have seen little or nothing of what is to come.  Nations will rise up against nations and desolation shall abound on all the earth.  Those of the order of God have not need to fear though.  This I am grateful for.  For the Priesthood which shall protect those within the covert from the storm, for the Resurrection that those who will be lost; both for their own sins and for a more full judgment upon the wicked.

Most close to home I thank for those who are dearest to me.  I am thankful for those who so deeply touch the deepest parts of my soul.  Many who are now separated from me by death, but that too shall not be for long.  My dearest wife, and all her splendor for which I am a blessed soul.  My parents who fought and struggled so hard for my upbringing and their abiding love for me. 

There is a whole multitude of souls I could reference for their influence in my life.  The more I learn and contemplate, the more I realize how intricately every soul is linked to one another.  Even years later we remember the influence of another.  There are influences from childhood, influences from events far away, and even influence from beyond the grave.

My heart is full.  I am thankful for all things. 

Visit from Grands

This week brought some happy differences from the mundane run.  Not at all to give the impression that life is mundane though.  The longer I live, the more I realize it is just like beauty, all in the life of the beholder.  There are those people wandering their lives thinking they are a nobody and with nothing great in their character or soul.  Then there are those people who find fascination, excitement, and life in all there is about them.  They are a different breed.

Somehow, I feel like in Richmond, I walk through a load of people with no excitement in their lives.  Life is a labyrinth for them to wander and walk.  There are so few who are in it for the game, and the experience.

The great Samuel Clemens, a fascinating man.  One who watched the every move of those about him with great detail.  Their every movement captured their personality for him.  That is one of the things that made him such a great writer.  He was able to take those little details and wind them into a story and make the characters that much more real. 

Suppose it would be the experience of the riverboat pilot which would teach you even more closely to watch the details of the water.  The slightest quiver could mean life or death.  Just his assumed name of Mark Twain shows a certain yearning.

Earlier this week I was able to pick the brain of a man who I found to be very fascinating.  A silent man in the past, but who gave voice this week.  I wanted to hear his story.  So I started to inquire and found some wonderful stories.

Having William Borah fresh on my mind, I was thinking of the honour of the President of the United States coming to visit you in your home state.  Senator Borah toured with him and introduced him to all audiences that he was presented before.  For some reason this has really lingered with me the past weeks.  President Roosevelt paying one of the greatest honours to a man of the opposite party.  President Franklin Roosevelt went to Republican Idaho and toured with its Senator.  It also showed the distinction of Senator Borah.  This really has hit home with the latest election.

So it was with greatest delight that I wandered through the mind and history of Mel Thompson.  Learning he moved with his family to Nyssa, Oregon in the mid 30’s.  They moved up there and basically homesteaded a new territory.  Knowing many of my own family would move to that same area within the next 10 years I really sought to pick his brain. 

Family history and my delving into history met ironically in the mind of Mel.  He told of the experience when he was still in school that the President of the United States came to town.  Yes sir, little Nyssa, Oregon welcomed the President.  I knew who one of the men was who traveled with him, the same Senator Borah.

These stories come to life for me when I can go to the places these events happened.  But they come so much more alive when I know a person and can learn from firsthand experience.  Like sitting on the porch of the Price home in Malad, Idaho where Senator Borah visited with Helen Daniels Price’s father.

Having been to Nyssa several times in my life, the latest just in 2005 when I traveled out there with a visit to Parma.  The Amalgamated Sugar Factory, with which Dad was closely tied for a good 25 years.  Cannot forget the Sharp family members who moved, and some of which still live in Malheur County.  The Fort Boise replica is not far away either.  Oh, and the elusive Rhoda Christensen Davenport Pappas Halan who wrote letters from there, but that is the end of the story.  I have found no more.

All truth can be circumscribed into one great whole.  That truth certainly extends beyond the theoretical.  That truth engulfs us into it as well.  Funny thought, to consider ourselves the truth, but in essence all things are truth.  Whether we like or live it or not; even our lying is in truth and will be treated as such.  Our lives mingle, intertwine, and are very much related to each other.  How could one ever conceive that their actions don’t affect another?  President Roosevelt, Senator Borah, and in the school yard where the children were let out from class to go out to the street to see the President’s motorcade prove that point.  One of those children had a face, had a personality, and had the name of Melvin J Thompson.

Last weekend, we went to Washington to attend the temple, to see Amanda’s grandparents, and to witness of a baby blessing.  It was a great weekend, but turned even better when Amanda’s grandparents came to stay with us for an evening.  An honour I would be willing to give a lifetime to do with one of my sets of grandparents.  (I suppose I am giving a lifetime to do so!)  It will yet come to pass and I will cherish that day.

We attended the Washington Temple Saturday morning.  Amanda and I were asked to be the witness couple for the session.  That was our second time.  Shanna just thought that was something else.  I wish I could have done an endowment with any of my grandparents, living I mean.  It bothers me even still today my Grandfather, my only living grandparents, chose not to come to our sealing.  For what reason I do not know, and probably prefer not to know.  There again, how woven our lives are together.  That the mere presence, or absence thereof, would so affect me.  What if Mel Thompson had not been in the audience that day?  Who would ever have known?  Nobody would have known, but now I do.  Somehow it rings a siren to my soul and brings back me back to the reality of the past.  It seems so far distant sometimes.  But now that nameless face has altered my life some 70 years later.  Even further, all those who read this will be altered to one degree or another, by this events significance.  That says nothing of all the other individuals present that day.  How many of them told that experience later in life, how many wrote it down, how many family members recall that event today.  I would venture that at least one somewhere, somehow, even if from a recorded record.

Our families were tied a little more closely that day in Washington and the following convo.  The drive back to Richmond brought out the stories of childhood in Pingree, Idaho; Nyssa, Oregon; and Ogden, Utah.  The stories included excursions to the Pacific and World War II and running into Mel’s brother at Pearl Harbor from Air Craft Carrier #77 to his training at Farragut in northern Idaho.  His missing attendance at the Laie, Hawaii Temple by one day was told followed by his bouts in learning telegraphy for the railroad.  Even those appear to be the most ordinary have a life to tell.  Sadly, it is in the eye of the storyteller that plays just as much of a role as that of the listener.  The listener has to seek and find connections, living what is true empathy.  In return, the speaker has to give of himself in such a way for the other to experience it. 

Is it any wonder the gospel works the way it does?  Not only does one have to be prepared to receive, but the giver has to be prepared to give.  Otherwise neither will give nor receive and both will most certainly not be edified.  One side operating just doesn’t work.  It falls on deaf ears, or is droned out before even arriving at the other party.

Too often there are those who are giving for the wrong reasons make it strained.  Those who seek it for the wrong reasons ruin the experience.

Anyhow, it was a fascinating lesson, and I was able to come and grasp some more of the 60’s.  I have really struggled coming to understand the 70’s and 70’s.  I just cannot tell why.  Even though I was born in the late 70’s, there seems to have been some type of disconnect.I have been fully engulfed in Richmond, Utah in 1961 and 1962 through the eyes of Lillian Coley Jonas Bowcutt.  The lifestyle of a lady in her 60’s though just does not seem to portray the era.  Especially this is true in a community which was still very rural and in some ways behind the times.  I just cannot seem to get the culture of the time.  50’s, 40’s, 30’s, I feel like I have a very good grasp, like experiencing through proxy.  In stepping backwards farther, I struggle to back further and feel it is due to the 60’s and 70’s.  Honestly though, I have not much desire for that time.  I don’t know why.  So I push further back into the 20’s and 1800’s without it. 

Anyhow, I never really got to pick Shanna’s brain much.  I got Mel on such a roll that he was not about to give up his shine.  We both were so enjoying it while the others just slept, knitted, or did something else.  So I regret not picking apart Shanna’s past, which I am sure holds many interesting experiences and stories.  Perhaps another day, with the right experiences will open that book.

They spent the night, and we had breakfast together before Amanda went to school and I went to work.  Mel, Shanna, Dennis, and Gwen toured the Museum of the Confederacy and St. John’s Church.  We invited them for dinner, of which they accepted.  We made white chili for their dinner.  They loved it, we put it over rice with corn.  In the end, games and conversation were out as Dennis seemed not very desirous to stay.  So we bid them adieu and wished them well on their drive home.

It was an experience I will not soon forget.  It is a rare thing such experiences happen.  So much has to align for such events to occur.  A man I had viewed as so quiet proved to be very perceptive, keen, and wise.

I don’t like the tone of this little blog, so I think I will be leaving.  I feel like I am condescending or portraying some type of sage.  Which I am not attempting, but failing.  I am so weak at words it is frustration.  What I would not give to have the power and verse of Mark Twain or Hugh Nibley.

The family net spreads wide

Wow, do I have a few things to share. With the limited time I am taking to write this, I don’t really have time to do it justice. But I will attempt
to give an overview. 

Sunday I thought I would try and call a distant cousin of mine. My Great Great Grandfather was born in Pulaski County, Virginia. He had a half
brother, who was a few years younger who was born there as well and remained there for his whole life.

So, my Great Great Grandfather’s half brother had a son whose name is Howard Ross Sr. The only reason I knew all this is back in the 60’s and 70’s he wrote a book on the Ross family and my Grandfather was given a copy for some of his help with the book. I knew Howard was around 81 years old. It just happened a few years ago, I ran upon a missionary who served in the West Virginia mission. I asked if he ever served down around Bluefield, West Virginia and he told me he served in that ward. I asked if he knew a Howard Ross who was about 80. He laughed and confirmed that anyone who lived in Bluefield knew Howard Ross. That missionary was very helpful in securing his address for me. Well, I wrote ole Howard a letter and to my delight he called me one evening in Logan, Utah while at school (about 2004). I was in the middle of a party of sorts, so I told him I would call him back. Somehow I lost his number and could not call him back. Worst of all, I did not have his mailing address either. On top of that, I did not know how to contact the missionary who gave it to me. So I was where I had left off.
The only thing I remembered from that short conversation was that he personally knew my Great Grandfather and my Great Great Grandfather had visited his family when he was still a boy.

Since moving to Virginia, even while in DC last year, I tried to find Howard Ross. Ross is a common name, and there was not a Howard Ross in the phone book anywhere near the area I needed. I ended up calling several dozen Ross numbers in the book in Western Virginia, but not one knew who I was trying to get. So I had decided I would just have to drive out there and ask people on the street of Bluefield. I never got the courage to do so as it is several hours away and if I found him, I was sure he would be out of town.

Sunday, something came over me, and I thought to try and find him again. I went to my family history and tried to find a name I might be able to only have one or two hits on in West Virginia and Virginia. I decided maybe I would look through my file and see if there were some towns which were small and possibly a Ross might be in one. Well, I saw Naoma, West Virginia as the birthplace of a family. I searched it, and a Willie B Ross came up. I had a Willie B Ross in my file, and so I called. It was a little awkward as I had him as dead. I rang the number and I asked for Willie’s wife. Sure enough, it was her. I told her how I was related and she said she did not know as much about that as her husband and that I would have to talk to him.  That was a little awkward knowing he was dead, a little more so when she went to fetch him!

In the conversation with Willie B Ross, he was indeed the person I had in my file (I did not tell him he was dead though). We went through all the
children, dates, birthplaces, and then he gave me his son’s phone number, John Ross. John is a physicians assistant in Beckley, West Virginia and
personally knows ole Howard Ross. Well, I thank them, hung up and called John. It was a good visit with him. He informed me it would have to be
short as his basement was flooding at that moment. He was kind enough to give me Howard Ross’s phone number, and his son, Howard Ross Jr, and his daughter’s number, Sally’s number, and then chatted on and on. I was feeling guilty since his basement was flooding and so I excused myself and let him go.

I then phoned Howard. Number disconnected. I called Howard Jr. Number disconnected. I thought and prayed for Sally to answer. Well, some old man answered and I knew I was at a dead end. I told him my name was Paul Ross.  He asked if I was the son of Milo Paul Ross, grandson of Milo James Ross, great grandson of John William Ross, and great great grandson of James Thomas Meredith-Ross. I knew I must be have hit the mark.

He too was in the middle of a family crisis at the moment and visited with me only for a short 20 minutes. In the meantime, I gleaned this much
information.

My Great Grandfather came to visit in the 1930’s. Howard remembered it because he was missing a finger. He asked what happened. Apparently he had a spider bite and because of what was happening to his finger, he dipped it in acid. Well, the doctor said he saved his life, but was going to have to lose his finger. I thought, what an interesting story. He then asked if I knew anything about my Great Great Grandfather. I said I did not. He told me he also came to visit in the 30’s from out California. Apparently he was a Bishop in Fresno, California. He came to visit the family and was upset they did not have a cow. He asked how they could be self-sufficient without a cow. Apparently he went out and purchased a cow for the family for the time he stayed there. Howard roared with laughter when he said then when he left, he went and sold the cow, and went back out west. We had a good little visit about life and where I was, and what he was doing, and then his crisis brought him back to reality and he excused himself. We set up an appointment for a meeting sometime in the spring, he said only if he lived, he was not going to be there if he was dead. I very much hope I can meet up with him, to learn some stories on the side I know so little about.

After hanging up the phone, I called my Grandfather to confirm and pick his brain a little. Grandpa is usually pretty tightlipped about the family, but he opened up about quite a few things last night. Here is some of what I got (combined with what I already know).

He was born in 1921 to John and Ethel Ross in Plain City. Ethel had been in an accident on the old train line that used to go out to Plain City. She
had received some type of settlement from the railroad (documentation I will have to try and find) and then moved to Paul, Idaho and bought a
confectionary. It was on what is now Idaho Street. Dad has a good stash of checks, paperwork, and other stuff from the old confectionary. It was
there, running the confectionery, that she met Mark Streeter after he returned from military service. I don’t know where or how much he served in WWI, but they were married. I don’t know that either, but they had a daughter, June Streeter who now lives in Adelanto, California. Grandpa said Mark Streeter ran off on her.

She kept busy at the confectionery until she met John William Ross. He and all his family had lived in West Virginia in the 1910 Census. I think his
sister, Fanny Ross Phibbs (her husband was Judge Calvin Dickerson Phibbs in Rupert) was the first one out. I think she came first(between 1912 and 1916), and then convinced the rest of her family to come out. Especially with the opening of the new sugar factory at Paul, and the building of the new city for all the employees. Fanny obviously lived in Rupert, and the rest of her family came out. I don’t know when John met Ethel, but he served in the Army. While he was stationed at Fort Logan, Colorado he was a cook. She went to meet him, and in 1920 they were married at Fort Logan. I assume they had met at some time previous to his military service. I don’t know the dates of his military service, and where all he served. Grandpa said he thought his father had been gassed, but was not sure about that. The 1920 Census has him in Colorado as an army cook.

On a side note, John had been married in 1910 in West Virginia. He had a son in 1911 named Hobart. I will get to some stories about Hobart in a
minute.

Grandpa was born in Plain City in 1921. Paul was born in Paul, Idaho in 1922. Harold in Burley, Idaho in 1923. Then Ethel had Ernest in 1925 in
Plain City. Ernest was born in July, Ethel died in August, and Ernest died in September.

Grandpa does not remember living in Idaho. Of course, he was probably too young. He does remember his mother’s death. He was terribly upset because they would not let him see his mother in the casket. They said he was too young. He said he was old enough to know his mother was dead and wanted to see her.

He remembers his father afterward bundling them up, they went to Ogden, and caught a train to Idaho. They then lived with James and Damey Ross in Rupert, Idaho. He doesn’t remember his father being around during this time. James and Damey contacted the Sharp’s (Ethel’s maiden name) and had them come get the boys. They could not afford to feet them anymore. Sometime in the early spring, he said Os (Oscar) Richardson and Dale Sharp drove up to Rupert in Os’ Hudson and picked them up. He remembers the drive past the poplar trees from the old town outside the Paul factory through Heyburn, over the river bridge there, through Declo, Malta, and all the way back to Plain City. He lived with Ed Sharp, whose wife was an East; Paul lived with Fred and Vic (Sharp) Hunt, and Harold lived with Delwyn Sharp. Paul in 1922 fell from a barn and died of a concussion a few days later.

From that point on, he never saw his father until 1948. So from 1925 until 1948. Apparently the Sharp’s forbid him from coming to visit. Grandpa has a whole bunch of letters from his father that were sent to Vic Hunt, but they were never given to the boys. Only after she died, did Grandpa and the others find out about the letters. They are actually very tender. Grandpa said his father had told him the reasons why the Sharp’s forbid him from coming to visit, but he did not want to disclose them. He said he was going to say nothing against the Sharp family who were so good to him. (I took that to mean it was not so much John’s fault, but the Sharp’s.)

Grandpa said he got a letter in early June 1948 saying his father was in Livermore Hospital and would only live a few more days. His sons were
requested to come and visit him. Great Grandpa Donaldson, Grandma’s Dad, gave Grandpa the money to go see his father. Harold did not want to go. Grandpa went to Livermore, Alameda County to the hospital. He walked in the building, up the stairs, and right to the room where his father was. He just knew where it was at. He sat down there and saw his Dad in pretty bad shape. This was a veteran’s hospital.

They started to talk. The hospital staff escorted him out because he was to have no visitors. He explained the position, showed them the letter from the Red Cross, and they let him go back in. He stayed there through the night talking with his Dad until he passed away. He said he learned quite a few things. I could tell Grandpa was crying over the phone. He would not tell me most of what he said. He just said he sat there and held his hand while talking through the night.

He found out that he used to take a taxi from Ogden, pick up Betty Booth, and they would ride out to the Sharp farm. John would sit in the taxi while Betty did whatever she was doing there. Grandpa remembers the taxi sitting there by the side of the field and the man and woman waving at him. He never knew that was his father or Betty Booth. Later in life, he said Betty was an old widow who could not take care of herself. Grandpa and Grandma would pay for her coal and Grandpa did repair work for her home. He even reshingled it one year, and Betty’s family made him sign an agreement that she did owe him anything. Her family did not know Grandpa and Grandma were paying for the coal. They thought it was the Maw family, who delivered the coal. Grandpa found it very moving to find out that he had supported the woman who had made it possible for his father to see his children. He thought it was a fitting service.

Grandpa would tell me nothing about what they visited about that night other than his father talked about life. Apparently he married an old widow in California who was wealthy and that took care of him the rest of his days. Grandpa did not know if the widow was still living when his father passed away.

Grandpa then took me through some of his war stories. He dwelt mostly on a recent deal where he had been honored at some stadium for being so decorated during WWII. He said the announcer interviewed him first and this was some of the things he told the announcer.

Those who were decorated during WWII were only the lucky ones who lived through the battle. He said the more that died around you, the more
decorated you became. He said his awards are not for his bravery, but a symbol of how many more died around him and he was fortunate to not have fallen. Grandpa was wounded 4 times during the war. He said they were all part of doing the job just like you smash your thumb once and a while with a hammer while working. He found it terribly disappointing that the longer time goes on, the more we honor the living who made it through the war. He points out that it is the dead who need remembered, not the living. What about those who never had family? Grandpa has a family who will remember him. What of those whose lives were snuffed out and have not family to remember them?

He pointed out to the announcer that a bar of soap was his best friend. He lived for weeks at a time in a foxhole. He even brushed his teeth when he had extra water with a bar of soap. On more than one occasion, a man would jump into his foxhole for cover, and by morning the man was dead. He had spent a couple days with a dead man because they could not get him out. One man he buried there by the foxhole and later told others where he was buried when the battle was over so they could go back for him. He said we don’t understand war. He said do we realize that in a foxhole for days, weeks you have to go to the bathroom. You put some dirt in your helmet, do your duty and set your helmet out of the hole until morning so you could bury it and hope your head was safe uncovered in the meantime. You always hoped you had enough water to rinse out the dust and whatever else so it didn’t stink too bad. The same clothes for weeks at a time, in a very humid, wet environment.

He said his awards for bravery were because he did what needed to be done because he was tired of the foxholes. He wanted to move forward. He was lucky that artillery and others gave enough cover that they were able to take the high ground.

Anyhow, it was a great conversation. I enjoyed the time. He cut it off, said he appreciated the phone call, and to call again some time. He then
hung up. (In usual Ross fashion, we are not much for telephone etiquette)

It was an interesting conversation. A man who never knew his father really, then had a crash course for a day until he died. His mother is only a
memory of younger childhood. Ed Sharp from what I understand was very hard worker and worked his children just as hard. I need to talk to Dean and get some more information about his parents before he gets too old.

Well, that story pretty much ends there. But there is another one that goes with it.

I started looking at applying for University of Virginia Law when I noticed it asked for family members who had gone to UVA. I remembered Evelyn Hoogland (who is a first cousin of my Grandma Ross through the Van Leeuwen family) telling me her daughter graduated from UVA. I needed to know what year she graduated. I called Evelyn and she gave me Kay’s phone number and told me to call her. So I called my cousin, Kay Hoogland. She graduated in 1981 from UVA and I remember Evelyn showing me a magazine or two with Kay on the front page. I knew Kay had made a name for herself. I phoned her at home outside Chicago. We had a wonderful visit and like we were old friends, I enjoyed our talk. She gave me encouragement, offered help, proofreading, even a letter of introduction. I was thrilled. She gave me one professor to contact and get to know who apparently is from Northern Utah. His name is Richard Merrill, and with a name like that, I would assume is related to Marriner Wood Merrill and his family comes from Cache Valley. I guess I could even be related to him! We will have to pursue that end.

It is time to wind down, and I am over my time limit. I learned a whole heap on Sunday. Made some new connections, and I hope opened some doors. I only scored average on the LSAT (only those who were diligent to read this far will get this news) so I am going to need a miracle to get into UVA or any other wonderful law school. Kay could be the unlocking of that miracle. More importantly, I unlocked a great number of doors to my own history and family on Sunday. The Spirit of Elijah is alive and well. An effectual door has been opened, and there are many more yet to come!

Time for rest and FHE. Love to you all. I love you, I know the church is true!

LSAT is past

I thought I would give an update. The LSAT is now passed. RIP That is most surely what I shall do!I went into the test with no worries or anxiety. Well, that is only partially true. I did not know where the place was I was taking the test at the University of Richmond, so I was afraid I would not be able to find it.  Alas, I did find it and showed up just as they were seating everyone. So I did not lose my $$ and it kept me from thinking about the crazy thing I was about to do.

The test went smoothly. I don’t have any concerns. I did have about 4 questions on each section that I did not have time to answer (except one, I
had like a minute left) so I filled them in with the guess that kept the pattern going from the rest of the section. As it goes with the LSAT, I don’t know if I did good, I don’t know if I did badly. All I know is I passed through it without getting the block, anxiety, or even cold sweats that accompany most events like this.

I went home, took a nap, and then went to enjoy a Priesthood Session of General Conference. Life went on as if it had never happened. Hopefully it can go on that way…

Sordid thoughts on the lowly things

Here we are beginning another week.  I admit, I am torn in so many ways.  What to do?  Where to go?  These are questions that I suppose creep up in our lives when we are just not quite as sure of things as we would like.
My job has become just that.  I am not motivated by money and they keep trying to entice me with it.  Well, in the end, I find myself doing the same routine, with not much improvement.  Well, I lie.  Every week so far has been an improvement in my earnings.  This past week I made more than six hundred in a week, before taxes and all.  So I guess that is a good thing.  But that is not how I measure my effectiveness.  Never has been, never will be.  Why would I use Babylon’s measuring rod?  How many lives am I influencing?  Is my family the better for it?  Am I happy?  And then the answer comes in at a stark no.
I get to go around and meet a wide variety of people.  That is most definitely true.  However, while I do feel we have a valuable tool, and a good product for those who need supplemental insurance, I am finding many people who have this as their only insurance.  They are content to believe that this is going to cover their needs and that is not the truth.  I think most understand this is not major medical, but for the fact that these people are poor and paying for this bothers me.  Now for the craftsmen and heavy laborers who carry this, I most certainly think it is the best thing for them.  So I am touching these people’s lives, and getting to meet them.  But I am not convinced I am leaving them better off in the end.
It most certainly is a worthwhile time to visit and see all these places.  I have always been fascinated by geography and love to travel.  This job has catered to that desire.  I have been to the birthplace of Meriwether Lewis, William Clark, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe.  I have been to the place where John Wilkes Booth was hiding, found, shot, and killed.  The historic Northern Neck of Virginia, while slightly penetrated, has been interesting.  But all this traveling takes time and money.  By which I travel and find the homes of these people, which are literally everywhere, so the byproduct is I learn the territory.  However, I am finding that running a household, a wife in school, and other costs take one’s funds.  In the end, I can afford the $100-$130 I am spending on fuel.  But I am worried that by breaking even, I am not saving to replace or add to the vehicle that is being required to drive the minimum of 1,000 miles a week.  With 183,000 miles plus on the car, I should be saving or paying for another vehicle rather than running into the ground the only means of income and transportation, for two, I currently have.  That just seems dumb to me.  In the end, it is not making enough money to pay for a car payment a month, nor to save up for a new car at a later point.
What about the next point?  What about my family?  Well, the last week, I certainly made the most of what I have made yet with the company.  But having said that, I am leaving at 9 in the morning, and returning at 9 or 10 at night.  If I was single, that would not be so much the issue.  I have a wife that is at home.  She can surely spend the time studying or whatever else without my interference.  When I finally get home though, I am exhausted.  I need to eat and go to bed.  She is kind enough to provide the food.  By the time we read our scriptures, pray, get ready for bed, and make it in, I am beyond my bedtime.  We have spent little or no social time, and other events are just a pain.  That is fine for a little while, but it really starts to add up in the long run, and I am not willing to make that type of a sacrifice.  The job is on the altar before the wife.
Lastly, am I happy.  Well, I surely enjoy the traveling and people.  It does grow wearisome at times though.  I love meeting people, I love seeing these new places.  However, the chances of my meeting these people again are slim.  It was not like spraying lawns at all!  Many of them gripe and moan they have to pay this again, and the rest are just a pain to track down.  It wears on me.  What wears the most is that I don’t have time to do things I wish to do.  I take the LSAT this weekend and I have no time to really practice for it.  That bothers me.  What is worse that when I do get time to myself, I use it for other things than studying.  I have other things I place more importance on and since I never get to do them, then the lesser things don’t come up.  So now what?  I am not going to postpone it again.  I should have just taken it in June.
So, after seeing this whole thing now play out, I am not impressed with the fruits.  I planted the seeds, I have lingered, waited, and prayed long enough.  The fruits appear to be bitter and if I allow the tree to continue to grow, it will only grow more wearisome and bitter.
I don’t even think it is so much Combined that I am having the issues with.  I wonder how much more effective I could be if I were to be trained in how to sell.  Would that little extra bit every day make it more worth it?  Would I be able to stop earlier from working knowing I had met the monetary needs?  Who knows.  Probably.  If I could spend less time working to make the same amount, that would be good.  If I could lay some aside for other purposes, that would be helpful.  All I know, something has to change, now.
Having said all that, I wonder about the other side.  Could there be something more I am missing?
What about those who say stick with it?  Grin and bear it?  It will all work out in the end.  I have thought quite a bit about Joseph of old.  He was in prison and a very unlikeable position.  But he bore through it with faith and came out on top.  My leaders at work keep wanting to put me into executive training.  In fact, if I would have agreed, I would be in Virginia Beach all week for it.  (But what of the LSAT then?  Being gone all week seems to only compound the problems.  Best part, they don’t even pay for your being gone so I would sacrifice a week for no pay!)  So, do I endure, make my way to management, and then what?  Well, I will be expected to train.  How in the world can I train on something I have yet to learn to do?  Nobody seems to be willing to train me and I obviously have not worked it out yet.  As Marc says, I am making what money I am by pure hard diligence and work.  That is noble and all, but he makes the same I do with only half the hours.  Yet getting him to train me is like pulling teeth.  Endure….where is the line where you simply throw your hands in the air and say I am moving on?
Much on the mind lately is the thought that perhaps I am meant to be here for some reason or another.  Marc has accepted an invitation to attend General Priesthood with me on Saturday Night.  That is great news.  I would like to endure enough to see him read the Book of Mormon and join the church.  However, should I gain one soul for the kingdom and give up everything for that one?  Honestly, I don’t see anything breaking down in my relationship with Amanda, but do I want to take that chance?  It is hard to be a nice person when I am not completely satisfied with my job.  Amanda takes some of the brunt of that.  There are two reasons why I have stuck with the job so far.  Simply because I need some income to provide for those things that are essentials (granted this house is more than we need, but it is still inexpensive compared to renting an apartment).  Secondly, in the hope that Marc will feel of the Spirit and be converted.  With my being away from the company the chances of his keeping his commitments and being converted are greatly reduced.  He has no one else to challenge and teach.  I told the missionaries about him coming on Saturday.  I sure hope we can get his address and a commitment to take the missionary discussions.  That will sure take a load off of me!
Yes, I believe it is time for a change.  But where to?  What shall I do?  Where shall I go?

First week training

Just thought I would put a little bit out there. There is not too much to report at the moment. Last week, I worked alone collecting renewals for insurance the whole week. My field manager gave me several stacks of cards to do. He was shocked when I reported I had them all done but 2. He said that was two weeks worth of work. I had completed them in four days.So I officially started training this week. Thus far we have only done the same thing. I have spent all day with Mr. Ted Kelley doing renewals. I have learned a few little things here and there. Overall though, it is everything I am familiar with and did last week. I am frustrated in that sense. Tomorrow though, they are letting me go off by myself again. I am headed to Montpelier, Virginia. Hopefully I can get the renewals done and hopefully add some new business. It would be nice, especially since I have to make some money to make up for the rest of the week sharing everything with my trainer.

There have been quite the variety of characters we come upon. Today it was a guy who raised raccoons to an author. Just this week I have driven across 3 old Civil War battlefields. Wish I knew more of the history to understand their significance.

I will keep enduring training. The company seems to be having some problems with leadership in our area. It reminds me much of the mission. Where some missionaries were trying to micro-manage. I will do to these managers what we did in the mission. Ignore them. What are they going to do? Fire me? They can’t until I am at 13 weeks, because then my ‘training’ is completed. But if I have proved myself to be of some value to the company then they are not going to fire me when I am bringing in several thousand dollars to the company in a week. Face it, they need their employees. I am not going to sit on a conference call during quality work time. I will most certainly not do it every morning for several hours like this district manager is having entire regions do. It is such bad management it is laughable.

Well, time to get ready for bed. I need to do some more research for my talk on Sunday (Amanda and I are both speaking this coming Sunday). I need to get some more LSAT study in, write in my journal, and go to bed at a decent hour.

 

Raleigh, North Carolina

Well, it has certainly been a long two weeks in Raleigh, North Carolina. I went down on the 1st and returned yesterday. It has certainly been an experience. I have always been fortunate to end up in the most interesting situations, and there always seems to be something to write home about.I rode down with Larry Grice, who went through license training with me. I have to make a few mentions of Mr. Grice. He has a certain way of doing things. There is this certain twitch, or something, which makes him have to constantly be fidgeting with his surroundings. It seems as though he must be always turning a nob or moving something. Readjusting the volume, changing station, changing the fan speed, turning things on and off, moving his seat, making a strange little laugh, and a whole host of other things. To top it off, he cannot drive smooth if his life depended on it. It is a constant change of speed and use of the brake, and these are not gradual. Faster, slower, jerk here, jerk there, swerve over here, and more constant twitches. By the time we got there, I was car sick and in the front seat. To top it off, my patience was such that I was ready for a rampage.

I don’t know why, but the volume of the radio always worked itself up so that it would hurt my ears. So I would say something so he would have to turn it down again. But in doing so, I had to have a conversation with a man who I could not understand. Between his accent, and perhaps a bit of a lazy mouth, it put more stress to carry conversation. Raleigh is a three hour drive, and if it had been 2 minutes longer, I am afraid I might have found a dead body on the side of the road. Really though, I was so wound up, mad, angry, irritated by the time we got there, I just had to go for a walk. This went on every single time we drove to work, or back, and all the way back here to Richmond.

One day on the way to work he put on Spanish music. I don’t mind a little latin music once and a while, but with his driving, and it damaging my ear drums, and then in the 100+ heat, it wore me thin. Another day, we listened to this preacher lady who was doing something I am not familiar with. She kept putting an ‘ah’ on the endah of herah wordsah, preachinah about Christah, and it wasah loudah, and sheah wasah doinah some sortah singinah, and Larry decidedah to keep the windowah downah, and it was likeah 114ah with heat indexah, and we areah in shirtah and tiesah… I started riding with other people to lunchah and to and from workah.If that was not the end of it, Larry had a few other character traits not so endearing. I found out from the class that he solicited a women in the class for a little sexual favor. Apparently she needed the cash more than her dignity, and he returned at 2:00 in the morning. I really don’t know anything happened, but her roommate supposedly got the low down from her. She is a college student and had complained before the whole class that she needed some dough, and her roommate said she definitely had plenty the next day. I do know that he asked two other married women for her phone numbers during the week. One of which earned him a sexual harrassment complaint to Combined Insurance.

Nicole Moore, who was with us in license training put Larry in his place when he started making comments about her body and such. Larry was always off visiting family and did not do any studying. Then as the week wore on and he obviously was far behind the class, he only complained that there was too much information or that it was not all necessary to know. I learned loads of patience, and wore it awfully thin a few times. He was a absolute mess. After a shower, the bathroom smelled like something was in its last stages of being decomposed by mushrooms. He slept naked and did not make much effort to cover himself in transition between clothes, the bathroom, and the bedroom. While I would be studying or even in bed, he would turn the television on and blast the sound. He would mumble little things to himself, or if they were to me I could not have understood or heard it very well. As if this was not enough, he was black. So, being raised in a very non-black state, Idaho, I never worried about this. Honestly, I do not think I really care or give any thought to skin color. However, when you are with one 48 hours a day, I found myself in places and even in private being extra careful to not be racist. Again, I honestly don’t think I have a racist bone in my body, but somehow with the climate around us, I found I had this fear of being racist. It created an extra cautious talk, reaction, and actions in his presence, more I think from the social and governmental climate we have today. Quite honestly, I found myself reverse discriminating to him! I was more lenient or less vocal with him than I would have been with someone else. I suppose that does make me racist, but in a reverse way. I let him get away with blowing my ear drums out because I did not want to offend him, or because he was…I don’t know what.

The entire week, in the background, was this constant struggle with my patience and with a complete phenomenon I have never encountered before. To top it off, the air conditioning went out in the building we were having our training in. For a week of record highes, it was horrible timing. With the temperature with the heat index between 105 and 115, it was definitely the same indoors. In a room with windows facing the sun the light and heat poured in. The full wall was windows, and they do not open. The heat was stifling. When we would go outside to cool off every hour, we thought it was cool, even though the bank one day said 114. I have no idea what the actual temperature was inside, or if it was just the closed quarters, and tremendous humidity, but that wore on a person too. Quite literally, we would be listening to Mr. Roger Dudley teach us, and I would have sweat running down my face. You could not touch anything and not have it stick to you. It was long, tedious days, and then when we were done, it was back to the hotel for a shower and nap. Both were required if you were to be any form of comfortable. We were supposed to be in shirt and tie all week, he let us come in shorts and t-shirt and we still sweat like none else. Some wore almost too little. This girl straight across from me did not leave much to the imagination, and with a skirt on, it only caused more aggravation to know I could never look that direction.

There was roughly 18 of us in this room for our sales training. Day in and day out, we memorized and went over the 3 policies, the history of the company, and the company ethics. I am a complete admirer of W. Clement Stone and this whole organization. A company with ethics, principles, and something more than just trying to make money. They literally are trying to change the world for the better. It was easy to lose sight of that though when you are so completely uncomfortable. I remember sitting down on the chair the second day and feeling the moisture still in the seat padding I had left from the day before. The gum on the bottom of my chair was warm enough that it stuck to my shoe when I accidentally hit it while shifting my feet beneath me. Gladly, the air conditioning came on and Friday was probably around 80 in the room.

The week proved to be interesting with the people inside the room. There was the has been insurance agent trying to get a new start in the business. Just lost his wife to divorce, or I think forced away his wife, and was a complete know it all. Always had to offer his two cents, tell the corny jokes, and interrupt everyone’s study to critique them, all while he did not do very well in learning the presentation himself. Then there was the Ms. I cannot do anything. Complain, complain, complain about how hard it was, how hot it was, how stupid she was, how her car broke down, how she could not learn the information. Oddly, the information she could not learn, she did not learn. Then there was the military man, who was always right as well, but who thought he was actually in lead of the class. Even with the teacher present, he had to tell us what to do, make sure we knew of his anger, or frustration, and more. Then there was the woman who constantly had things to say that had nothing to do with anything, and she had to share with the whole class. Many tempers flared, many people started yelling at others, mostly back at the hotel, and this was all a show. Then there was Larry, and all the women thought he was a predator or something, there was the little lady across from me who always had the complete following of male eyes, and the dynamics of the class were never boring.

Our poor teacher, Mr. Roger Dudley of Fayetteville, North Carolina was obviously worn by the end of the week too. Even on the last day, he caught several people cheating on the final, and made us all take it again. That did not make the class happy as we did not get out early like we were supposed to, and who wanted to take an hour test over?? I had already been downstairs for 10 minutes when we were summoned back to retake it. Most of what I missed was purely in having lost interest. Word for word phrases I substituted words that had nothing to do with anything I was writing so quickly to get it over with again. For example, rather than writing, Do you drive a car, I wrote Do you own a car. Which cost me the entire question. I was writing so fast by the end that the checker could not read my writing and I missed probably 3 due to my having completely lost any interest by the end of the test.

To add to the situation in Raleigh, right before I left to head out to North Carolina, my computer crashed. I don’t know exactly what happened, but my computer refused to recognize any internet. My wireless card altogether was not even recognized by the computer. So I had to take it in. In the end they had to reformat the entire hard drive! At least they could do a backup of my files. I did not get to take my computer with me, which I had hoped to do. That way I could still run finances and orchestrate what I do from my e-mail. Well, now I was high and dry, and worried about my computer, all my information on it, finances, and who knows what else. Two weeks later, I went and picked up my computer. It crashed twice within the first 30 minutes of having got it back. So I will have to take it in this morning. I was able to pull the Microsoft Money off of it to use on Amanda’s computer, so now I can do the whole financial thing. I am going to try and pull the family history file off so I can use it while my computer is gone. Fortunately I put the couple hundred pictures on Photomax, so I can lose them if I have to. I do have 3,000 songs on the computer, and I hope not to lose them. I have given away, or thrown away most of the CD’s I got them from.

Anyhow, it has been a testing by fire for two weeks. There was a positive side though. I have two close, new friends, Nicole Moore of Norfolk area, and Andy Yauss from Radford. If it had not have been for them, I might have lost my sanity. They were good study buddies and they let me vent to them when I thought I was about to break.

How is that for two weeks! It was the first time in my life I felt like my poor body was not handling the stress very well. I would wake up and my whole body was tense and one big knot in dread of the day. I usually went to bed exhausted, but could not sleep very well due to the stress on the body. Mentally I honestly don’t think I was close to breaking down, but my physical body sure was growing weary.